Book Review – Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

It’s been a while since I did a proper book review; one is long overdue considering the amount of books I have read in the last few months (see Holiday Reads). I figured that I would do a review of the latest book I have read, namely Steve Harvey’s Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man
 
 
 
The Gist (Trying not to reveal much about the book!)
 
Steve Harvey has decided to help women with the opposite by letting them in on what men really think about love, sex and commitment; and provide guidance as to how to deal with men, whether you are dating, in a relationship or still waiting for that ring.
 
The book is broken up into 3 sections – the mind-set of a man, why they do what they do, and how women can win “the game” (because women shouldn’t hate the player, but the game……). These sections are then broken down into various chapters.
 
Highlights
 
I actually highlighted my book! Since finishing my studies, I very rarely write or highlight my books, but when Steve Harvey specifically asks you to highlight a particular section, well, you have to (spoiler!):
Yep ladies, Steve Harvey has warned you!
 
I couldn’t help but laugh when I read the above section, for the reason that I already have that mind-set (I can thank my parents for that…)! I suppose the issue is not the fact that men want something, but rather trying to figure out what that “something” is. But then, most women are pretty intuitive and tend to have an inkling as why a man may approach her……
 
Steve has tried to be as broad as possible with this book, so he touched on various issues such as the intentions of a man at the initial stages of dating, being a single parent and dating and how to” get the ring”. For me, the chapter that I probably most identified with was “Strong, Independent – And Lonely – Women”
 
Does this apply to you?
 
This chapter struck a chord with me because, I have always believed in being independent. For me, relying people is not ideal and usually leads to disappointment and/or having to do things for yourself if you want to get it done/done right. But from time to time, I do wonder whether, in the quest to being that “strong, independent woman” one could end up being unapproachable to men. Could “I don’t need a man” be misinterpreted to “I don’t want a man”? If a man can’t be a man, then why should he waste time in a relationship where he’s not going to be able to fulfil his role? The story about the pineapple juice, in my opinion was quite deep……
 
 
Other chapters that caught my attention:
 
“What Drives Men” – key elements about men
“Why Men Cheat”
“Men Respect Standards – Get Some” – key elements for women
 
Overall
 
This book is part of the “self-help” genre; a genre I rarely read. However with Steve Harvey being a comedian, he has provided a male insight and injected humour in what can be a tiring and exhausting topic for women. Steve identified key elements about men and for women which he says are crucial to thinning out the less suitable suitors and/or assisting in determining where dating/a relationship is going. And I agree with them.
 
Given that Steve Harvey is African American and his demographic is African Americans, there may be consideration as to whether this book may be applicable to other ethinicities. I say that the key elements are applicable to men and women as a whole and any female regardless of background can read this book and take something from it, whether it be information to assist with dating/relationships or an insight into the species known as "man"!
 
I don’t think that this book is going change my love life; only I can do that. However, it has definitely given me food for thought and provides me with useful tools when playing “the game”
 
And the Film?
 
Well I actually saw the film before I read the book. I enjoyed the film, I thought it was classy and funny, though I thought there were unnecessary appearances from certain celebs (e.g. Keri Hilson – seriously, blink and you WILL miss her appearance in the film!). I did watch the film again after reading the book and I watched it with more clarity, more understanding and I felt that the book was translated well into a film. Plus Terence J and Michael Ealy were nice to look at……
 


You Are What You Wear


"Geek" Tee - Topshop

Checking out the "Winter Wonderland"
 

Geek: (noun) an unfashionable or socially inept person/ a knowledgeable and obssessive enthusiast
 
It seems that everyone wants to be a 'Geek' these days - geek chic is like, sooooo cool! Gone are the days when being a Geek was a negative thing; needless to say Topshop are benefitting from now fashionable subculture(especially as this tee cost £18 -slight cringe!).
 
I identified myself as a Geek way before it became fashionable. Growing up, i didn't see myself as one of the "cool people". I loved learning; especially history. I bought and read books on Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece and Ancient Egypt - loved mythology. I loved books; I went to the public library from a young age and enjoyed being surrounded by books. During Secondary School I was known as "The Boff"! And I really was not fashionable.......
 
From time to time during my teenage years, I was concerned about being a geeky person especially when it came to the opposite sex! But ultimately, having friends and family who liked and supported my intelligence, my love of reading and thirst for knowledge I was in essence fine with being a Geek.
 
So, while some people will be wearing this shirt as a fashion statement, I will be wearing this shirt as my personal statement x
 
 
 
 
 
 

Make You Happy

Urgh, January is a crap month. There, I said it! It’s only the 12th and this month has already gone on for too long! The weather and possibly your bank balance are in the minus figures; the sun rarely makes an appearance and maybe some of your goals are starting to falter……
 
I came across an article from finance website www.learnvest.com, namely 130 Things That Make Us Happy…From Your Friends At LearnVest. I noted that it was simple, everyday things that made the LearnVest members happy, and it got me thinking – what makes me happy? It might sound like a dumb question with an obvious answer, but I have to tell you, sometimes it’s easy to forget to things that make you happy, that make you appreciate that you are alive.
 
Source
 
 
So without thinking about it too much (because it wouldn’t be as fun) here are 10 (of many) things that make me happy:
  1. Reading (pretty much anything)
  2.  
  3. Relaxing in a nice hot bath
  4.  
  5. Re-watching my fave films (Clueless, 50 Days of Summer and When Harry Met Sally to name a few!)
  6.  
  7. A win on the lottery, no matter how small – and they often are very small!
  8.  
  9. The feeling after I’ve worked out
  10.  
  11. Having random or significant but hilarious conversations with my friends and family
  12.  
  13. Eating out with friends
  14.  
  15. Waking up in the morning (always grateful), and looking out of my window to see blue skies and the sunshine (whatever the season)
  16.  
  17. Karaoke
  18.  
  19. Apple pie or chocolate brownie/fudge cake with ice cream
 
Just writing these down has put a smile on my face!
 
So what makes you happy?
 
Take a minute or two to think about what makes you happy. Write it down, stick it on a wall, do one of those things that make you happy. It will help make your mood brighter, your week better and maybe January go a bit faster.....
 
Care to share? Leave a comment below with one or two things that make you happy :¬)
 
 

Under Pressure


Happy New Year!

Source 
Not the most ideal source, but what can you do.......
 
I hope you saw in 2013 on a happy note; now doubt you would have made significant if not intensive “resolutions”…..
 
I actually don’t like to use the word “resolutions”. I hear resolutions and almost immediately it creates pressure and finality, like if you are successful with your resolution, everything will be fine or if you don’t resolve to complete a task set within a specific time then you have automatically failed. The ironic thing is that apparently most people give up on their resolutions within 6 weeks of making them! That’s a lot of wasted gym memberships……
 
For me, the Christmas Period has highlighted a couple of issues. I’ve had one or two people ask me about my cooking skills given that my mother is an excellent cook (seriously, she is. And not just because she’s my mother). There have also been husband references and resolutions on my behalf i.e. may you find a husband this year *annoyed sigh*. On top of that I have been evaluating my career and finances and the fact that I’m getting a year older and that a lot of my friends are either married, engaged or in LTRs with or without kids, while I’m still single…………*deep breath*! Soon I found myself making a mental checklist of what dangerously looked like “do or die” targets for 2013
 
It’s a bit too easy to set yourself too many and sometimes unrealistic targets and when you don’t reach those targets, you feel like a failure.
 
Goals rather than Resolutions
 
To try to ease this pressure, for the last few years I have used the term “goals”; it sounds a lot friendlier and there is no sense of finality. It’s a work in progress and is flexible. I have actually found that setting my goals a month or two before the New Year is actually better for me – such successful examples are the decision to go on a long haul holiday to the Dominican Republic and the decision to get fit (rather than the same old join the gym and lose weight)
 
I have quite a few goals that I want to achieve and/or work towards over this year and the following 2 years, and they touch a variety of areas of my life – personal, love, financial, career etc. It actually feels easier to focus and work towards my goals.
 
If you’re like me and want to be more goal orientated, here are a few tips to help you achieve your goals:
 
Set your goals – and be realistic. There is no point in setting 25 goals when in reality you can only achieve maybe 3 or 4. Don’t set yourself stupid/unrealistic time frames to achieve those goals. They do not have to be major and complicated; keep them simple e.g. save for a holiday/car, open a savings account, get in the dating game etc
 
Write down your goals – and place them in a prominent place where you will see it/them every day. Depending on your goals, this may be in a public or personal place. I usually place my written goals on the wall next to my bed, that way I see it when I go to be or wake up.
 
Get support – if your goals require a bit of support, then don’t be afraid to get help from family, friends and work colleagues (as long as they don’t take the piss!). I found that in getting fit, training solo at the gym was not for me; joining Nike Training Club and participating in group training was a much better fit for, especially as the trainers and the girls are fun and supportive
 
It’s ok to have a set back – because what would life be if it was just plain sailing(!) If you find it difficult to achieve that goal (easy to have a cheeky smoke, or in my case a very occasional double cheese burger) don’t be hard on yourself.
 
Be ready to change – there is no point in setting any goals if you are not in the right frame of mind. If New Year’s Eve/Day is not the day to set your goals, that’s ok. Goals can be set at any time, you have to be ready and willing to work towards achieving those goals.
 
I hope these have been helpful!

Do you have any other tips to share? What goals do you have in mind for 2013?
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